Bartending and Drinking Quotes

We’ve scoured the web for the best bartending / drinking quotes we could find.  If it’s funny and it’s got anything to do with bartending or drinking, we’ve included it below.

Quotes about being an alcoholic:
The difference between a drunk and an alcoholic is that the drunk doesn’t have to attend all those meetings ~ Arthur Lewis










Quotes about getting drunk:
Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded.  Trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the 13th or 14th ~ George Burns

bar quotes burns loaded










Whiskey Quotes:
Whiskey is, by far, the most popular of all remedies that will not cure a cold ~ Jerry Vale

bar quotes cure cold










Drinking Wisdom Quotes:
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk.  That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. ~ Ernest Hemmingway

bar quotes do what you say













Reasons for Drinking Quotes:
I drink only to make my friends seem interesting ~ Don Marquis

bar quotes drink for friends










Funny Drinking Quotes:
Work is the curse of the drinking class ~ Oscar Wilde

bar quotes drinking class










If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt. ~ Dean Martin

bar quotes drive putt










A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her. ~ W.C. Fields

bar quotes drove to drink










The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. ~ Humphrey Bogart

bar quotes few behind











My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses.  Drinks right out of the bottle. ~ Henny Youngman

bar quotes grams no glasses


I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. ~ Frank Sinatra

bar quotes sinatra on drinking


There’s absolutely nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation. ~ John Ciardi

bar quotes sobriety moderation


What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? ~ W.C. Fields

bar quotes stolen cork


Bartending Quotes
The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid ~ Richard Braunstein

bartending quotes drunk n stupid


Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that – it’s called everybody, and they meet regularly at the bar. ~ Drew Carey

bartending quotes hate job


A bartender is a temporary pharmacist with a limited inventory

bartending quotes temporary pharmacist


We’re pretty sure that the above bar industry / bartending / drinking / alcohol quotes are not the only ones out there.  So if you come across some really good ones, mention it in the comments below.

Go to our bar humor page.

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the Barman

Reese Richards aka "the Barman" is a 20+ year veteran of the bar industry and founder of His goal is to bring the joy of bartending to as many people around the world as possible by producing high quality content in the form of articles, interviews, infographics, recipes, videos and training courses.