Bartending and Drinking Quotes

We’ve scoured the web for the best bartending / drinking quotes we could find.  If it’s funny and it’s got anything to do with bartending or drinking, we’ve included it below.

Quotes about being an alcoholic:
The difference between a drunk and an alcoholic is that the drunk doesn’t have to attend all those meetings ~ Arthur Lewis

Quotes about getting drunk:
Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded.  Trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the 13th or 14th ~ George Burns

Whiskey Quotes:
Whiskey is, by far, the most popular of all remedies that will not cure a cold ~ Jerry Vale

Drinking Wisdom Quotes:
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk.  That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. ~ Ernest Hemmingway

Reasons for Drinking Quotes:
I drink only to make my friends seem interesting ~ Don Marquis

Funny Drinking Quotes:
Work is the curse of the drinking class ~ Oscar Wilde

If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt. ~ Dean Martin

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her. ~ W.C. Fields

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. ~ Humphrey Bogart

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses.  Drinks right out of the bottle. ~ Henny Youngman

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. ~ Frank Sinatra

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation. ~ John Ciardi

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? ~ W.C. Fields

Bartending Quotes
The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid ~ Richard Braunstein

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that – it’s called everybody, and they meet regularly at the bar. ~ Drew Carey

A bartender is a temporary pharmacist with a limited inventory

We’re pretty sure that the above bar industry / bartending / drinking / alcohol quotes are not the only ones out there.  So if you come across some really good ones, mention it in the comments below.

Go to our bar humor page.