Bartending and Drinking Quotes

Funny Drinking Quotes, Beer Quotes, Alcohol Quotes and Bartending Quotes

Now go get your laugh on!

Quotes about being an alcoholic:
The difference between a drunk and an alcoholic is that the drunk doesn’t have to attend all those meetings ~ Arthur Lewis

Quotes about getting drunk:
Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded.  Trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the 13th or 14th ~ George Burns

Whiskey Quotes:
Whiskey is, by far, the most popular of all remedies that will not cure a cold ~ Jerry Vale

Drinking Wisdom Quotes:
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk.  That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. ~ Ernest Hemmingway

Reasons for Drinking Quotes:
I drink only to make my friends seem interesting ~ Don Marquis

Funny Drinking Quotes:
Work is the curse of the drinking class ~ Oscar Wilde

If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt. ~ Dean Martin

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her. ~ W.C. Fields

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. ~ Humphrey Bogart

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses.  Drinks right out of the bottle. ~ Henny Youngman

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. ~ Frank Sinatra

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation. ~ John Ciardi

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? ~ W.C. Fields

Bartending Quotes
The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid ~ Richard Braunstein

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that – it’s called everybody, and they meet regularly at the bar. ~ Drew Carey

A bartender is a temporary pharmacist with a limited inventory

We’re pretty sure that the above funny drinking / alcohol / beer quotes are not the only ones out there.  So if you come across some really good drinking quotes that aren’t mentioned above, mention it in the comments below.

Go to our bar humor page.

the Barman

Reese Richards aka "the Barman" is a 20+ year veteran of the bar industry and founder of BarsandBartending.com. His goal is to bring the joy of bartending to as many people around the world as possible by producing high quality content in the form of articles, interviews, infographics, recipes, videos and training courses.